Monday, October 27, 2008

Hilariously bad middle school talent show bands

Today I'm going to show you two awful awful groups of kids who try to play music but clearly don't know how to.

Iron Man-Black Sabbath

Now, it starts out okay, but the rhythm falls apart fast and it becomes a mess.

Smells Like Teen Spirit-Nirvana

This is easily the worst cover of this song i have ever heard anywhere. If Kurt Cobain hadn't killed himself earlier he would have when he heard this, I'm not kidding. The only decent thing here is the drummer. The guitarist is terrible, he not only screws up, he doesn't use any distortion at all, and his amp keeps cutting out, though one time it wasn't his fault. The singer, who is a girl, needs singing lessons bad, she shouts and screams almost the whole song, not even Kurt Cobain himself did that, she chokes once and near the end when she starts rolling around on the floor its ridiculous, seriously stop trying to be Courtney Love, everyone hates her, shes just a B list junkie celebrity who stole most of her music anyway, nuff said. But don't take my word for it, i lol'ed watching it, its that bad.

Some high points, at 1:26 someone reaches down and unplugs the guitarists amp in the background. At 2:56 watch the searing solo. (heavy, heavy sarcasm)

So remember, if you are going to try and play at a middle school talent show, please, learn to play your instruments. Later.

Saturday, October 4, 2008


Since Brad (i cant believe he remembered this) told me he thinks its more difficult to talk about something positive, i will. But first, I'm gonna deliver what I promised. Headlights on cars. I hate headlights on modern cars. You cant turn them off at all. I don't even think its possible. Its a nuisance. You know how around Christmas people go to light presentations, such as Santa's Magical Kingdom? Of course you do, unless you live in some 3rd world hellhole where they probably don't even have lights. But if you do, get off of here before Fidel or Kim Jong Ill has you executed, seriously, go. And good work on getting electricity or at least enough hamsters, to your home, which is probably made of plywood, because real wood, goes completely into manufacturing poor quality AK-47's for your pathetic "armies" and what metal you have, mostly crappy imitation soda cans, goes into making "tanks" for our soldiers (real ones) to target practice on. I didn't know Coca Cola (or whatever cheap imitation you have of it) helped build crappy soviet export models that probably couldn't fire more than 3 feet if they were fully maintained for a change. But if theirs a war, our soldiers will just shoot your poor quality imitations of 40 and 50 year old soviet technology made from recycled garbage with BB guns. If that's a T-72 then Michael Jackson still has a career. Anyway
because of headlights that don't turn off, light presentations are severely impaired. and of course theirs always that idiot with his brights on but whatever. On a positive side, it makes great excuses for poachers. Even though their trucks are 20 years old, probably have home air conditioning units mounted in the back of the cab and can turn their lights off. I know that was more me taking shots at 3rd world "militaries" than me talking about headlights on cars, but oh well, accept it. O yea, I think B-rad should start his own blog just saying.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Album review, Death Magnetic by Metallica (it dosent suck this time, i swear)

So i just bought the new Metallica album that came out 2 weeks ago, currently its #1 in almost every country. After the pile of utter crap that was St.Anger with its mind numbingly stupid lyrics (("My lifestyle! Determines my deathstyle!") ("Frantic-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tock!"), ridiculously simple riffs, no solos, and terrible, terrible production. We didn't think they could be intelligent again. Wow, were we wrong. This album is a very good one. In fact, probably the best one they've done in 20 years. They've combined all their previous influences and for the most part got rid of the pop concerns from their self titled 5th album. And they've started to play the kind of music that they played in the 80s. That's very good. My only complaint with this album, is that its so compressed. alot! The sound quality is bad at times. All this unnecessary distortion. And its mixed way,way too loud. I'm playing it now and Ive got my computer volume on less than half and my rhapsody volume(its kinda like i-tunes) very, very low, and this album is still plenty loud. Its so loud and compressed. Anyway, its still good. I mean, they even have an instrumental track again! Its almost 10 minutes! and its good! Its great they've realized their former sound somewhat. While these songs are mostly midtempo and somewhat inferior to their 80s material, its still a great album. My favorite track, by the way is track 4. "The Day That Never Comes" . It sounds kinda like "One", you may have heard that, its on Guitar Hero 3. Not quite as good but it comes close. 8 out of 10

Ok, maybe it sucked a little, but comon, its almost 9:47 PM. Next time: headlights on cars.