Albums you must stay away from

Since I did albums you must have, why not albums you must stay away from? I'll tell you what not to spend your money on. These albums make Guantanamo bay look like a vacation. These albums are the worst combination of sounds ever created by man. These albums should have never even been made. Never, ever, ever even think of buying these albums ever. I haven't heard these entire albums, I don't need to, i get a few songs in before i cant stand the "music" anymore. But i don't need to, what I've heard is proof enough.

St.Anger-Metallica
I've referenced this album many times before on this site. So I'll go into more detail about it. The production; terrible; the music; awful; the lyrics; a 5 year old could write more intelligent lyrics. This is a very, very poor attempt to get back to their roots. Thankfully Death Magnetic was much better and came close to succeeding, but i hardly ever listen to it any more because of its extreme over compression. Anyway, let me list off why this is so terrible. First of all, the drums sound terrible, the snare especially sounds like trash cans inside a empty metal dumpster. They tuned the guitars all the way down to C making them all guttural. It sounds like Nu-metal. Now, I kind of like the guitar sound, but seriously, play them in the right order. These aren't riffs. Fingers go up the neck, fingers go down the neck. That's it. The lyrics are so stupid, but not only that they repeat them over and over again and pound them in your head. The songs don't flow at all. The other instruments are often buried under the terrible drum sounds. It seems like if he bangs on them even louder it'll make a better song. It does the exact opposite. Also theirs no solos anywhere on this album. Why?? It sounds as if Kirk Hammett just gave up trying. Their are only two moments on this album that would even qualify as being listenable to the human ear. The intro to the title track, which sounds kinda cool until the singing starts. That intro is the only good part of the song. And "Frantic"; does it suffer from extremely stupid, unbelievably repetitive lyrics? Yes. Terrible snare sound that overpowers everything? Yes. Guitars that do almost nothing? Yes. But is it the best song on the album? Yes. Its listenable. and that says alot on this album. On another note, this is from the band that made Master of puppets? Seriously. Its unbelievable how much they declined. Thankfully, the next album was much, much, much better. If your at the store and you see this album. Don't even think of buying this. I wouldn't even take this if they gave it to me for free. Absolutely horrendous abomination.

Cut The Crap-The Clash
Ah yes, the clash, a staple of classic punk. Except this, this was their last studio album. Good thing too. Its hard to find a bigger joke then this from a formerly respectable band. The songs have random, inappropriate boing, ping, thwack and other ridiculous sounds that drown out everything else half the time. They got rid of their drummer and replaced him with an ultra fake sounding drum machine. There are a million cheesy 80s synthesisers all over the place and the guitar has a slicked over pukeish sound. The chorus's always have like 100 people singing it with no singing voices that probably got pulled off the street. This is a complete joke. Now to be fair, even though "This is England" has all those terrible things, their are less ridiculous noises and its a decent song. But other than that. This album is a bunch of vomit random 80s noises that should never be listened to by any creature in the universe. What idiots made this? Seriously? Did they honestly think this was good? An exaggerated but true example of how mainstream pop music can absolutely destroy the sounds formerly known as music.

Marti Gras-Creedence Clearwater Revival
Here's another example of a formerly great band sucking badly before breaking up. So after the rhythm guitarist left the other band members wanted to get more song writing in, except your John Fogerty and you almost single handedly are CCR, you write all the music and lyrics and you could probably play every single instrument with little to no change in musical quality. But you let your remaining band mates write and sing on some songs. Except they are absolutely terrible at writing songs and cant sing to save their life. One has the range and charisma of a monotonous drone. Another just sounds plain terrible. The songs would suck even if they wernt sung by these people. If you can find a worse hoe down song than "tearin up the country" I'd like to hear it, or maybe i wouldn't. This is one of the worst examples of a rock band going country I've ever heard. Thankfully John Fogerty does sing on some songs. They arnt quite up to the standards of their earlier material but they are honestly decent songs. Truly the last breath of CCR. For some reason these ended up on
Chronicle but "Born on the Bayou" didn't why? If you are ever going to buy a CCR album, don't buy this one ever. I recommend the greatest hits contemplation Chronicle volume 1. Their studio albums are filled with a few hits surrounded by airless blues jams that go nowhere. Until Cosmos Factory they weren't good at it. But since 7 out of 11 songs on that are in Chronicle you might as well get that. It made my "albums you must have" list, which you can read if you scroll down some. Bottom Line; Stay away from this.

Van Halen 3-Van Halen
I love Van Halen back when they had David Lee Roth (Still do i guess since he came back). Then Sammy Hagar came and ruined it. But this is worse. This has Gary Cherone. He sounds terrible. Really. I cant say it better so I'm going to quote Brad from Brads Completely Useless Record Reviews. "What does it sound like, you ask? Well, picture Sammy Hagar at 80 years old. With laryngitis. And LUNG CANCER. That’s what Gary sounds like." and he also said "...it feels like someone has taken a large piece of sandpaper, stuck it inside my ear, and started grinding it violently against my eardrums. It’s AWFUL. If one looks solely at vocals, this is the by FAR the worst album I’ve ever heard, and it has no real competition." That's nuff said. Don't buy this album. Start with the self titled Van Halen or a greatest hits contemplation. Not this.

Some bands to stay away from entirely:

Limp Bizkit
Creed
Godsmack (complete rip-off of Alice in Chains)
Linkin Park
Korn
The Naked Brothers Band
Hannah Montana
Fallout Boy

King of the Hill has Been cancelled

So one of my favorite TV shows has been cancelled. I was probably going to happen eventually, but why now? Yes, its not as funny as it used to be but its far better than any other cartoon on Fox. The Simpson's started sucking years ago. I love the Simpson's before then. Ive seen almost every episode. I don't make it a priority to watch the new ones anymore. Family Guy is a stupid show made for immature 13 year olds where almost all of the jokes are flashbacks starting with: remember when...or remember that time you... and so on that has nothing to do with the story that's strung together by a weak plot. American dad is an even worse version of family guy. Just replace the dog with an alien. They've also made the Simpson's dumb down their material which is a large part in why they suck now even though family guy blatantly rips off the Simpson's plots and characters. King of the Hill was the only thing left that was worth watching. This is sad. That shows a classic. Has it been declining some lately? Yes. But has it made a comeback? Yes it most certainly has. I don't have much more to add without repeating myself so later.

I-pod Music download quality

I dont normally download music, but with this particular album, i already did along time ago with rhapsody. Im not getting rid of rhapsody, you get 25 free plays a month, so i can review an album for free. But for the most part iv'e switched to I tunes because i got an I-pod touch. This album i couldnt transfer becasue of copyright protections embeddded. I had a giftcard and thought, it wouldnt matter if i downloaded it again. So I do. I look at it on my computer. 128 bit rate! Thats bad. I like to have the highest quality sound i can get. Now I try to set all my music the highest it will let me, 320 Kbps. Now, when i downloaded this album the first time, i came as 193 bit rate, acceptable in my eyes. Of course thats before i relized i hadnt set it to a higher bit rate. But 128 is bad. Good thing I didnt pay for it. Im just gonna but a physical copy of the album like i always do. 128 bit rate is unnacceptable. I-tunes needs to get higher quality download quality.

Video and song of the week

This is hilarious, this lady calls 911 and wants to have a cop come over because burger king got her order wrong.

Lady Calls 911 Over Wrong Burger King Order


This is a great song off Superunknown, gets played all the time still.
Soundgarden-Spoonman

Guitar hero world tour is disappointing

Edit: okay, maybe i was a bit too harsh. Its fine on multiplayer, its a good game, but the set list sucks. GH 3 had tons of classic rock. This is full of new stuff and just plain bad stuff. Korn? Breaking Benjamin? Paramore? Why? Its all whiny emo-ish stuff. That's not rock. They do have some good bands. But not enough. And the only metallica song in this is trapped under ice. I was hoping for a good song after all the terribleness. but they give me that? Why not "Creeping death?" or "For Whom The Bell Tolls"? or maybe even "Fade to black". There from the same album as that. Why? I'll just have to wait for the expansion. And i hear theres a Jimmi Hendrix one coming out too. So theres that. Good game, bad songs. Rock band 2 did it better, its not worth $200 in my opinion. Anyway, now that that's out of the way, read my original review below.


So, flushed with Christmas money, about 2 $50 visa cards, $20 in cash, a $50 gift card to Barnes and noble, a $20 check and a small $10 gift card to borders, i like books. But anyway, i didn't ask for much so i got a ton of money. So i go to the store to spend some. I got 2 books. I was going to spend the rest of the money on albums, but i got an X box 360. I figure, why not get a game? After arguing over rock band 2 or guitar hero: world tour, we got GH. Yes, i knew rock band had better songs but i figured, stick with guitar hero. Big mistake. I pay $100 because me and my brother split it. it cost more than i thought, i thought id have some money left but no, both the gift cards are used. This better be good, I thought. I get home, i set it up. It was disappointing. Its not very user friendly on multi player. Some things you cant tell. And the songs, terrible choice. Rock band 2 nailed it. Guitar hero missed. There are some good songs, but many of them I've never heard of. Some just suck. Why is Korn here? Why? Blink 182? They don't deserve a spot. The thing with Guitar hero 3, which was great, was that every song was a classic. Even the new stuff was really popular at the time. And another thing, id heard of almost everyone on there. On this, i don't even know who half these people are. HushPuppies? Stuck in the Sound? NOFX? Who are these people? Your supposed to be doing songs that actually have something significant about them. Another thing, Why does Tool have 3 songs?? Why? I don't have a problem with Tool, but why 3 songs? O yeah, one of them isn't forty six & 2. In comparison, Rock Band 2 features Pearl Jam, Joan Jett, Kansas, AC/DC, Alice in Chains, Tenacious D, Megadeth, Ratt, Billy Idol, Soundgarden and a better Metallica song than GH. ("battery" from master of puppets as opposed to "Trapped under Ice", one of the few songs off Ride the Lightning i don't like.) Not the Hushpuppies. To be fair, its an alright game, its got Creedence clearwater revival, Nirvana, Ozzy Osbourne, the smashing pumpkins, jimmi Hendrix and even a Willie Nelson song, but so much stuff that tries to appeal to the casual gamer. Instead of Black Sabbath, we get Blondie, instead of Slayer, the mars Volta, seriously, the mars Volta. Some songs on GH are the same as on rock band 2, and there are some of the same artists with different songs, for instance, system of a down, its great there on there, but rock band 2 has "Chop Suey!" this has "B.Y.O.B". Both are good songs but "Chop Suey!" is clearly the more classic song. Ive also heard complaints about the note chart being way off what it is in real life, and how sometimes theres a note that isn't really there or something. Its not worth $200. Worst $100 I've ever spent, possibly the worst purchase I've ever made. At least I have the Metallica Expansion to look forward too. That's gonna be great. Probably alot harder too. At least i got that. GH world tour is overrated, its clearly slipping, i cant believe they screwed up like this, if the next one isn't better then they've clearly jumped the shark. Buy rock band 2 instead, it has much, much, much, better songs.

Movie review: Four Christmases

So yesterday i saw Four Christmases, what did i think of it? I thought it was hilarious. Its about a happily unmarried couple who doesn't want kids or to be married, gets stranded at home and has to visit their parents who are all divorced and dysfunctional. I wont go into the details but it was a funny movie, a laugh out loud funny movie. Funny moments include two "semi professional" cage fighters who beat up their older brother, not realizing a $10 cap on presents so one kid gets an X-box and another gets a flashlight and destroying a house trying to install a satellite dish because of stubbornness. Its funny throughout and I enjoyed it. It wasn't perfect, no movie is, but it was quite funny. In album review terms, high 8 out of 10.

Video and Song of the week

This is this guys non-fiction story about a run in with the cops at age 5, I dont know if its actually true, but its hilarious, the way he narrates is hysterical.

911 Call by 5yr Old



Hard to choose, maybe next week I'll do Soundgarden.

System Of A Down - Toxicity

Movie commercials

Whats with advertisements for movies? They always have a similar sounding narrator every time, do they only have 3 guys they pay to do movie advertisements? Also, they claim every single movie advertised is number 1 or "the best of the year" or something like that, i bet if you played 2 in order, they would both say that. You cant both be the best! Choose 1 jerks! Another thing, they always claim its the film every ones talking about, but I've never heard of it, who's talking about? Stop making yourselves look stupid, seriously. Movie advertisements should be about enticing you to see the movie, not spouting a bunch of overused, cliche phrases that do nothing.

Albums You Must Have

Since Christmas is coming up soon, and as a way for me to get alot of album reviews in, I'm going to be doing mini-reviews of some albums which I believe are classics in every sense of the word. Not in any particular order.

Back In Black-AC/DC

If you don't have this album you're missing out on alot, if you don't like a single song on this album you're a complete idiot. I should just stop there, but I wont. Every song is perfect, some are lesser but not even approaching mediocre. My only complaint is that its AC/DC and the songs all start to sound similar after a while, but individually every song is near perfect. 10 out of 10

Master of Puppets-Metallica

This is the pinnacle of early Metallica. Yes, its pretty much a remake of Ride The Lighting, but it takes side 1 of that album and perfects it. People say side 1 is the best collection of metal songs ever written, and it may very well be, but side 2 is good too, though it can be kind of a disapointment when you get 3 or 4 perfect songs on side 1, you cant be better than perfect. The first track is the shortest at 5:12. Its really fast. Its got an acoustic intro, then a little flurry of electric before exploding. The next song is the title track. Its been called the best heavy metal song ever. I'm not going to argue there. Words cant describe it. There's also the best instrumental they've ever done on here, "Orion" is excellent. The rest of the songs are great also.
10 out of 10.

Superunknown-Soundgarden

Soundgarden is one my favorite bands,this album is in my opinion, one of the best albums of the 90s, the amount of diversity and songwriting skills on this is stunning. Its got 15 songs and is more than 70 minutes long, but it deserves to be 70 minutes long. It sounds like a greatest hits album half the time. "Black Hole Sun" and "Spoonman" were huge radio smashes back in 1994 (Black Hole Sun still is.) But anyone of these songs could have been big too, including the title track. Its got all sorts of psychedelic stuff too. Like "My Wave" which starts out as a great poppy rock song (but NOT pop-rock) that's ultra catchy but then morphs into a psychedelic freak out that doesn't loose its catchiness. "Head Down" is mind blowing, just 6:09 minutes of pure moody brilliance. "Mailman" and "Limo Wreck" are grindingly slow. "Spoonman" was huge and got played every 20 minutes practically, I still hear it on the radio, great song. Only two things are unnecessary, "kickstand" is a 1:34 minute throwaway tune with punk speed and "half" is just weird and I've listened to it maybe once. Absolute classic in every sense of the word. Very High 10 out 10.


Toxicity-System of a Down

SOAD is one of the very few modern bands I like. I used to think they were just another crappy Nu-Metal band, until I actually listened to them. If today's bands put even half the effort these guys do in their songs, maybe 96% of it wouldn't suck. Did I mention, they're all Armenian? Only one of them was actually born in America, and his parents are Armenian or something. Serj Tankian is one of the more versatile and interesting singers of today, he goes from melodic singing, to grunting, to yelping, to all sorts of weird stuff without blinking and it makes sense. The guitarist and back up singer has the exact opposite voice, almost 80s metal type, hard to describe, but it counterbalances his perfectly. They have all these thrashy parts combined with all this balladish melodic stuff usually in the same song. They use a bunch of ethnic instruments, like all those Armenian instruments and gentle soloing at the end of "psycho" intertwined with the "Psycho! Groupie! Cocaine! Crazy!" part in the chorus. But theirs more memorable chants and such. We got "Science! has failed! our world!" in "Science. and we got "Pushing little children! with they're fully automatics! they like to push the weak around!" in "Deer Dance". I think its about some riots in turkey or something about the Armenian genocide, idk. But the highlight is the title track, easily one of the best songs in years, just the way they have that little 2 second drum fill and then the drums working against the guitar is genius, its the little things that anyone could have done but they were too stupid too do that's part of the appeal. You'll be jerked around between all these emotions during this album, you'll be banging your head during the thrashiness, then think "gee, that's pretty." and then laughing at the lyrics and vocal mannerisms in the same song. Excellent album, possibly one of the best of the decade. 10 out of 10

Chronicles-Creedence Clearwater Revival

This is a greatest hits album, i haven't listened to it fully yet, so I'm not going to rate it. But I have listened to alot of it. It has most of their hits and singles, except "Born on the Bayou" instead of which we have 2 of the better songs from the awful Marti Gras. At least their the ones that John Fogerty sings on. When he lets the rest of the band try solo, like on that album, its absolutely awful. If it had "Born on the Bayou" of course it'd be perfect. But really, its missing why?! It makes no sense to leave that song out. But anyway, i will say this. This album is essential for anyone with any interest in classic rock what so ever.

Paranoid-Black Sabbath

This album is an absolute all time classic, its got "Iron Man" and "Paranoid" in the same album! Every song, except the instrumental "Rat Salad" is great. Yes, maybe the lyrics arnt great at times, but think about how many bands wouldn't have existed without this album, really, most of them. These guys and The Beatles (who I'm not very familiar with) pretty much created everything you hear today. "Planet Caravan" is a weird song that's really psychedelic. "Fairies Wear Boots"
is a great song and its got "Iron man" and "Paranoid" That speaks enough about this album. 10 out of 10

Honorable mention

Powerage-AC/DC 9 out of 10

...And Justice For All-Metallica 9 out of 10

Badmotorfinger-Soundgarden 9 out of 10

Ride The Lightning-Metallica 10 out of 10

Americas funniest home videos

Its a TV show that has become a staple of television, it has gone through many time slots, channels and hosts, it has become a classic in its own right, except one thing. It outdated. Yes, Americas Funniest Home Videos is an outdated show. With websites such as youtube and others, we dont need a TV show to watch people's hilarious videos anymore. And the humor is outdated also, its pretty much the last holdout of 70's style shows which are so cheesy. and the videos, where do I begin, the videos are so repetitive, oh look, that guy fell, that kid got scared, and so on. How many times can you watch someone fall or a kid get scared of santa during the kids scared of santa montages? The show is obsolete, period. If i want funny videos, i go to youtube where theirs more than physical comedy, although it is funny, and youtube is of gennerally of a funnier quality than anything they show there. Another thing, the video that wins is never funny. Its just something with a baby or an animal thats supposed to be "cute". It's so rediculous. America's Funniest Home Videos is nothing but a relic of an era that is long gone, its time to get rid of this outdated show.

Video and song(s) of the week

yeah, i know i missed the last one or two but I'm really here for the rants, this is a side thing i started due to popular demand, well maybe 1 or two when i told them my idea, anyways here's more videos.

Now this is funny, a kid gets hit by an exercise ball and flys 3 feet back. I showed it to kids in my advisory class and they thought it was hilarious.


Kid gets owned by exercise ball



So for song of the week i figure, why not Metallica? But which song, so hard to choose. Well, i skipped last weeks, so why not two?

This song is very simple compared to their earlier stuff, i can guarantee you've heard it at least once, still a good song though.

Enter Sandman-Metallica


I will not hesitate to say this is one of the best power ballads ever made, the whole song is brilliant, it has one of the smoothest transitions I've ever heard, it goes from a ballad to a heavy thrash metal song so flawlessly. The music video has clips from the movie Johnny got His Gun which is similar to what this song's about. Its about a soldier in World War I who's wounded when a mortar shell lands right on top of him, he survives, but he losses his arms, legs, eyes, ears, jaw, and nose. So he's essentially trapped in his mind. His wish is to either die or be put on public display to showcase the horrors of war. But enough of that. Its a good song, period. (edit: it looks like all the music videos for "One" are gone due to a copyright claim, so I've been forced to use this video of just the band logo with lyrics. But it has the song. Unbeleivable.)

One-Metallica

Other people that do rants that I like

besides doing my own rants, i also read and watch other peoples as well, many of these people inspired me to start this blog.

62365

This guy, with his strange name of a few numbers, is the guy who originally inspired me to do this blog. And i admit, i steal some of his points on things too, in fact, i liked his NASCAR one so much, i decided to use alot his talking points, cause its so true, yeah, my best rant isn't even completely mine. I admit, alot of my really early posts, were not completely my own ideas, but really, this guys hilarious, o yeah, i started using his Later thing too cause i liked it so much. It works doesn't it?

http://www.youtube.com/user/62365

Angry Video Game Nerd

I like this guy, he's very funny, he also cusses alot, but i try to keep this clean, which is why I don't post his videos. I did however, take some of his pens at the post office rant. Off his you know whats Bull$*1* series of videos. He normally reviews really old games and are hilarious. But besides for that pens at the post office, i don't take any of his ideas or reviewing style.

http://www.youtube.com/user/JamesNintendoNerd


Brad’s Completely Useless Record Reviews


Now this guy is called Brad, and hes not my cousin. He inspired me to do albums occasionally, even though he admits he ripped of 99% of Mark Prindles writing style. he also used to cuss in alot of his early reviews, but he almost never does anymore, hes matured alot. He also seems to be really slow in updating lately, but whatever, I also adopted his simple 1-10 rating system, instead of letters, grades or such. he also likes Led Zeppelin alot for some reason. Other than that he seems to have somewhat similar tastes to mine.

http://www.geocities.com/bradreviews/

Theres also some random teens who did some things on HSM that i can't pinpoint.

Those 3 are ones i like alot. Theres probably more, but i'll edit this list over time. Later.

Kids who text people when they're sitting right next to them

Whats up with kids texting people on their cell phones when the kid is sitting right next to them???? really! why??? Are you too lazy to talk??? Its a waste of money, i don't care if you have unlimited texting or not, its ridiculous. What ever happened to passing notes? If you get caught you don't lose your phone. But really, whats wrong with you? electronics destroy your social skills or your ability to speak English fluently? Don't text when the persons right next to you. Its ridiculous and absurd.

Video & song of the week

Now this is funny, these kids are going to be in so much trouble.

Fireworks in Cupboard (title to new video is firework accident.)




This was a one time thing by some people from different bands to do Pink Floyd's Brick in The Wall. I only know of 2 of them, one is Layne Staley of Alice in Chains (one of my favorite bands), who's singing is slurred in this because heroin addiction was causing him to start losing teeth and general sickness, it eventually killed him, its also why they recycled earlier footage. Another is Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave. I like this version. and the title is inaccurate, its by Class of 99 and there are 3 other guys from other bands that I'm not familiar with.

Alice in chains and R.A.T.M - another brick in the wall p.II

Gift Cards

So, since holiday shopping season has just started for most people, i thought id tackle something so utterly unnecessary its not even funny, its not funny because it costs you money. Gift cards are almost useless, you can only turn them in at the store it was bought from. It costs the same amount of money, why not just give them money? Its much more flexable, gift cards are nothing but corporate shills. You have to spend that money at their store and if it expires your screwed, and they get free money. Then it wont even be worth the cheap chinese plastic its made from. Dont buy gift cards, just give them money, its a much better gift becasue its redemmable anywhere. Thats all I have on giftcards. Later.

The Naked Brothers Band

Ive been promising this since the beginning, and now i will write about something even worse than Hannah Montana, worse than HSM, worse than the Jonas Brothers. Not only is their music bad, but their TV show is too. I watched 5 minutes, the camera work is terrible, their music sucks and the whole premise is ridiculous. Now hold on, yes it may be marketed to 11 year olds, but it makes them think this is good music and TV. Its not. Surprisingly, this isn't a Disney creation, no, its Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon is a mere shell of its former self. I saw that station transform before my eyes into utter crap. You can argue that I'm biased towards the shows I grew up with. I don't buy that. Older Ren and Stimpy was good. All That back when it was intelligent and before they replaced all the cast with pre teens and it became so unintelligent. And Kenan and Kel. The good burger movie is a classic in my mind. Heres something i still remember from it.



Anyway, Nickelodeon is terrible now, they even tried doing a rip off of Japanese cartoons. This however, is so unbelievably bad. These kids arnt even professional actors, their mom was in some 80s sitcom and knew the right people. The acting is bad, the music is worse, the jokes are terrible and its just crappy in general. The singer is 12, the bass player is like 15 or 16. Somethings wrong here, in the show the singer is always trying to go out with her. Why even try? shes like 3 or 4 years older than you, you re not even or barely out of elementary school and shes in high school, whats up with that? Another thing, who has a Cello in a band? Also, stop trying to pass yourself off as a rock band, your not, your a pop band that was created to make money. In Live performances its obvious they don't play their own instruments. Watch this video and you'll see what i mean, look in the background, standing off to the side, are adults playing everything, they don't even try to fake playing, at least very well. The only person who seems to be actually playing is the bass player,and if she isn't, she fakes playing bass guitar really well, notice how she actually looks at the guitar neck, and finger picks the strings in rhythm with whats actually being played. Unlike the others, who strum like idiots and don't play a note.



Now, for both yours and my own amusement, I'm going to do a fake interview with the lead singer, Nat Wolff, and pretend to give him a hard time, just for laughs.


Me: So i noticed that on the today show you said that you go to an "actual real school."

Nat: Yea, we do.

Me: Well, you must because your grammar is atrocious.

Nat: well...

Me: To be honest, to me, your music sounds like a cross between Maroon 5 and a really bad Beatles rip-off.

Nat: Well, the Beatles is my favorite band. (it really is, so he says)

Me: Well I admit you've chosen a pretty good model, if you played decently and wrote decent lyrics, I mean seriously, that song you've got, "Banana Smoothie" is messed up.

Nat: Maybe

Me: Maybe yes.

Nat: Comon, don't you think Rosalina is hot?

Me: No, I thought that was just a thing in the show, maybe you should use people real names too.

Nat: sorry, but comon, don't you?

Me: Not really, and who came up with that anyway? Shes like my age and your what 12? Why try?

Nat: Umm...

Me: Well, were out of time, I'm gonna go edit this to make you look crazy, just like on every reality TV show, by the way, very insightful(snickers).

Nat: Thanks, i guess.

Me: goodbye.

So there you have it, my opinion on the Naked Brothers band. and yea, its a stupid name.

Later

DVD cases

In an effort to get back to the original spirit of this little page i have, I'm going to start doing more rants again. One thing that really gets me, is those security stickers on DVD and video game cases. You know what I'm talking about? Its a pain to get off, and its on all 3 sides! Is that really necessary? That security tape is really going to stop someone from stealing it from Amazon.Com's warehouse. Even if its in a box set, its on all 4 or 5 videos! On top of that, theirs another thing on the box! Why??!! But not only DVD cases, most toys have wires and Styrofoam and all this other crap. Its ridiculous, getting ridiculous packaging off is a pain. (Those monsters! How dare they try to keep their product from being stolen!) That's probably what Brad would say, but do you really need it on things that are being sold online?? Obnoxious packaging is a waste of money as well as time, patience, and your life, because I'm writing about it, and you just read that whole thing. Later.

Video and song of the week

Heres some southern rock song from 1979, it rules. This video is just some clip of a train, but its the song that counts.

(its actually called Train, Train)
BLACKFOOT TRAIN



This guy is one of my favorite comedians, he is hilarious, and this is one of his best acts.
Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist

So once again...

Rachael wants me to write something else about her, I said yes because her lockers next to mine and she will ask over and over again until I do. I dont know much about Rachael, so im just going to write alot of filler, mostly because its 11:23 PM and I cant think clearly. But i promised her id write this by today, and its not officially sunday yet, ha-ha. But I do know that usually shes the only person next to my locker scince Wade dosent show up for school half the time. I also know she was in my advisory class last year. Speaking of advisory, we dont seem to be allowed on the comoputers anymore, scince it seems they want us to do actual work which we rarely have. That class sucks now. O, yea, shes in my advisory this year now that i remember it. Well, thats all I can think now. Later.

announcement

I see now that my videos dont work at school, dang youtube block, but if you want to see the hilarious things ive posted, than go to Google videos and copy and paste the title.
http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=drive+thru+5&hl=en&emb=0&aq=o#

Video and Song of the Week

Video of the Week
Here is a video i find hilarious. I use this as my portal to youtube, really. Hes hilarious, going to drive thrus. This isnt one of those rap videos, this guy is actually kinda creative in his comedy. Very funny.

Drive Thru 5


Funniest drive thru video ever.



Song of the Week

I figured, why not mix it up a bit? So for today, i have a country song. I dont like modern country, but thats a topic for another day. But i have no problem with older country. So heres this:

David Allen Coe-The Ride


BTW, i like the album version better but this is good.

Later in his carrer, DAC did some stuff with the instrumentlists of Pantera, which rules, or at least, what ive heard of it. I'll probably post a song eventually. Just thought that was worth mentioning.

Buy The Whole Album!

It seems everyone in my house except me, goes on I-Tunes or whatever and buys single songs. This bugs me alot. I only buy whole albums, i figure, if its only worth one song than why buy it at all? If you want that song on the radio then wait for a greatest hits album, seriously. I myself have 16 albums that i listen too. (8 of them are ac/dc albums) I have more, but alot of it is useless stuff. Such as Daughtrys generic radio ready debut album, and Creeds greatest hits, (o god). So yes, i have heard a creed song in my life, I don't like them, at all! and if that's the best they can do, then I don't want an album. Anyway, I buy whole albums, most in CD form, I have 3 I Downloaded off Rhapsody yes, but I downloaded the whole album. Buying single songs makes no sense to me, call me old fashioned I guess, I just think that you should buy the whole album, and not just some song you heard off the radio, the purpose of singles is to get you to buy the album, stop abusing the promotional system, seriously. Next time, I'm talking about something that is far worse than buying single songs...Illegally obtaining music.

New Features

To compete with my online competitors, whoever they may be, by popular request, well maybe only 1, I'm adding 2 new features. Video of the week, in which I post whatever videos i find funny or interesting. Another is song of the week, this will be mostly music videos but possibly be live performances of whatever music i find interesting in the least bit, both new and old, chances are you wont see any pop music, guaranteed. Mostly I'm doing this because people tell me after school hours are boring and playing games on the Internet is getting old. So, ill start today.

Video of the Week
If you watch this 100 times you will still laugh


Its 4 seconds long and hilarious because someone gets hit in the face by a ricocheting soccer ball, just like Americas funniest home videos.



Song of the Week
Hard to choose i thought, so why not start with AC/DC?

It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll)

Hilariously bad middle school talent show bands

Today I'm going to show you two awful awful groups of kids who try to play music but clearly don't know how to.

Iron Man-Black Sabbath


Now, it starts out okay, but the rhythm falls apart fast and it becomes a mess.

Smells Like Teen Spirit-Nirvana


This is easily the worst cover of this song i have ever heard anywhere. If Kurt Cobain hadn't killed himself earlier he would have when he heard this, I'm not kidding. The only decent thing here is the drummer. The guitarist is terrible, he not only screws up, he doesn't use any distortion at all, and his amp keeps cutting out, though one time it wasn't his fault. The singer, who is a girl, needs singing lessons bad, she shouts and screams almost the whole song, not even Kurt Cobain himself did that, she chokes once and near the end when she starts rolling around on the floor its ridiculous, seriously stop trying to be Courtney Love, everyone hates her, shes just a B list junkie celebrity who stole most of her music anyway, nuff said. But don't take my word for it, i lol'ed watching it, its that bad.

Some high points, at 1:26 someone reaches down and unplugs the guitarists amp in the background. At 2:56 watch the searing solo. (heavy, heavy sarcasm)

So remember, if you are going to try and play at a middle school talent show, please, learn to play your instruments. Later.

So...

Since Brad (i cant believe he remembered this) told me he thinks its more difficult to talk about something positive, i will. But first, I'm gonna deliver what I promised. Headlights on cars. I hate headlights on modern cars. You cant turn them off at all. I don't even think its possible. Its a nuisance. You know how around Christmas people go to light presentations, such as Santa's Magical Kingdom? Of course you do, unless you live in some 3rd world hellhole where they probably don't even have lights. But if you do, get off of here before Fidel or Kim Jong Ill has you executed, seriously, go. And good work on getting electricity or at least enough hamsters, to your home, which is probably made of plywood, because real wood, goes completely into manufacturing poor quality AK-47's for your pathetic "armies" and what metal you have, mostly crappy imitation soda cans, goes into making "tanks" for our soldiers (real ones) to target practice on. I didn't know Coca Cola (or whatever cheap imitation you have of it) helped build crappy soviet export models that probably couldn't fire more than 3 feet if they were fully maintained for a change. But if theirs a war, our soldiers will just shoot your poor quality imitations of 40 and 50 year old soviet technology made from recycled garbage with BB guns. If that's a T-72 then Michael Jackson still has a career. Anyway
because of headlights that don't turn off, light presentations are severely impaired. and of course theirs always that idiot with his brights on but whatever. On a positive side, it makes great excuses for poachers. Even though their trucks are 20 years old, probably have home air conditioning units mounted in the back of the cab and can turn their lights off. I know that was more me taking shots at 3rd world "militaries" than me talking about headlights on cars, but oh well, accept it. O yea, I think B-rad should start his own blog just saying.

Album review, Death Magnetic by Metallica (it dosent suck this time, i swear)

So i just bought the new Metallica album that came out 2 weeks ago, currently its #1 in almost every country. After the pile of utter crap that was St.Anger with its mind numbingly stupid lyrics (("My lifestyle! Determines my deathstyle!") ("Frantic-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tock!"), ridiculously simple riffs, no solos, and terrible, terrible production. We didn't think they could be intelligent again. Wow, were we wrong. This album is a very good one. In fact, probably the best one they've done in 20 years. They've combined all their previous influences and for the most part got rid of the pop concerns from their self titled 5th album. And they've started to play the kind of music that they played in the 80s. That's very good. My only complaint with this album, is that its so compressed. alot! The sound quality is bad at times. All this unnecessary distortion. And its mixed way,way too loud. I'm playing it now and Ive got my computer volume on less than half and my rhapsody volume(its kinda like i-tunes) very, very low, and this album is still plenty loud. Its so loud and compressed. Anyway, its still good. I mean, they even have an instrumental track again! Its almost 10 minutes! and its good! Its great they've realized their former sound somewhat. While these songs are mostly midtempo and somewhat inferior to their 80s material, its still a great album. My favorite track, by the way is track 4. "The Day That Never Comes" . It sounds kinda like "One", you may have heard that, its on Guitar Hero 3. Not quite as good but it comes close. 8 out of 10

Ok, maybe it sucked a little, but comon, its almost 9:47 PM. Next time: headlights on cars.

I cant stand 'all summer long'

You know that new Kid Rock single that people with no real musical tastes are raving about? Of course you do, they play it every 10 minutes on 3 different stations, but in case you've been somewhere on mars for the past 3 or so months its called all summer long. Now, I'm not familiar with Kid Rocks music, but i do know that i don't like that song. Why? Its tailor made for top 40 monkeys who need to be told what to listen to. Let me explain. First of all, the chord progression is a blatant rip-off of Sweet Home Alabama and Werewolves of London. Its so polished and generic. Its not that great, nothing happens, verse, chorus, verse, chorus. wow. All with obvious melodies. Im not going to write a lengthy critisism of this song, so just watch this video, he has some points. and no, i didnt put that link to the website, thats embedded.

Hate By Numbers: Kid Rock's All Summer Long

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Mom smashes brats laptop

She smashed a kids laptop because he was talking back.

monkeys steal booze

yes, monkeys steal alcohol

The easter bunny hates you

What does the easter bunny do the other 364 days of the year? This video will explain everything in a hilariously true way.

The Easter Bunny Hates You: The Complete Story brought to you by black20.com

So

Yesterday in 4th hour there was a fight, unfortunately, i was in another room taking a test. I'm kinda disappointed i missed it, it seems like one of those 'u had to be there moments.' Anyways, from what i hear, the teacher didn't do anything until she accidentally got hit herself, then she went ballistic. Anyway, a bunch of kids recorded it on their cell phones, and one of them ended up on the Internet. Unfortunately, I'm not able to see it, since Austin has his myspace profile set on private, and i don't have a myspace account. If i could, i would have put it on here, but unfortunately i cant. That just adds to the disappointment, that i cant see it. When I'm writing my autobiography years in the future ill probably mention this. But still, i cant believe i missed it. Also a computer almost got knocked over. They both got suspended for a few days. But nonetheless, i didn't see it happen, dang.

edit: a few days ago i found out the video Austin put on his myspace was flagged so much it had to be taken down. I heard there was another video on youtube under 'fat fight' but i checked and it wasnt there.

hilarious photos

Yes, these are all in my computer, i have way too much time on my hands.