Showing posts with label bad music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad music. Show all posts
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Metal Mania
So on VH1 they have this show called Metal Mania. It's a show of nothing but two hours of classic 70's, and 80's classic hard rock and heavy metal videos. Sounds like my kind of show right? Wrong. It sucks. I still watch it with Tivo and record it, because they usually have a gem or two in there. But for the most part this show sucks. Why? Because the so called "metal" they play is crap like Poison, Winger, Warrant and other bands that suck. Not only that, they're not metal, not at all. Not only that, they play the same videos over and over it seems. They play way too many Scorpions videos. Seriously, they're fine and all, but you get tired of hearing them when they have 3 freakin videos in like a 40 video block. And there almost always played. I like Judas Priest, but the only videos I've ever seen on there are "Breaking the Law", "You Got Another Thing Comin'" and "Turbo" "Turbo" sucks. Not only that, they need to play more real metal, I want to hear more classic metal bands and maybe a little thrash metal. Seriously. They play Dio, they play Armored Saint, they play Saxon, but they don't play them enough. Meanwhile terrible bands like Poison take up all the space. They play some old Metallica videos from there live performances occasionally, but I've never seen them play the video for "One". The only Megadeth video I've seen is "Symphony of Destruction". I've seen Sepultura's "Territory" and some other song, but seriously, that's from when they became a groove metal band, groove metal is honestly dangerously close to nu-metal. I've only seen Pantera on there twice, and that song both times was "Mouth for War". The last time I saw it, they actually played good songs for a good chunk. They played Anthrax and Metallica, and some others in there, along with that video, but right after that video they played some crappy Biohazard song. There like a suckier Pantera with rapping. I see the video come on, and I'm like "This looks like its gonna rock!" but it doesn't, it sucks. But even videos that are good are fairly rare, they mostly play crap and when they play something decent its the same thing every time, good is even rarer. I don't mind them playing Motley Crue, or even Ratt every once in a while, but they need to stop playing garbage that isn't metal at all. And if there going to play that stuff they should play more Skid Row, because I like Skid Row, and they should play the video for "Slave to the Grind" sometime. Also, for some reason, there weekend shows, seem to be better.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
A review of the middle school talent show
So I'm at school right now in the math room on a computer, we just got out of the talent show. What did I think of it?? I think it was worse than last years. Almost all of the entries were girls who think they could sing. Now some did pretty good, one espeshally, but most of them were not of much quality, even worse, about half were a-cappelas, ugh, thanks alot American Idol. On the bright side, there was one juggling act, Devin did this really cool thing where he made the balls look like they were floating, that was cool. Giana played the violin, i didn't really understand it, she says it was something called "rockin' strings" or something. One other girl played violin and did good. The first act was a kid playing the "Star Spangled Banner" with a guitar, and there was one kid who played guitar and did good. Later the teachers did stuff, some of them tried to rap and was dressed up like steryotypical rappers, that was hilarious. The last thing was a bunch of teachers singing a song, which really didn't seem to be much but a time waster considering it was kinda loud, and the microphone got screwed up (I remember). But the best act of the day was this skateboarding dog. Now that was cool. All in all, it was pretty lousy considering almost everything was a girl thinking they could sing. Let the word go out, UMS has very little talent!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Video and Song of the week
This is hilarious, it seems stupid at first but the ending is hilarious
Charlie The Unicorn
I spent over an hour trying to decide a song, I was going to use AC/DC's "Jailbreak" but I thought, what else is there. So im, looking, and for some reason record labels are cracking down on Youtube so that limited my choices. I thought of Alice in Chains. "Man In The Box" had embedding disabled, so I thought of using "Would?" but I couldn't decide between 3 versions. I move on to the Smashing Pumpkins, early Soundgarden ("flower"), Creedence Clearwater revival, Pantera, Van Halen, the Joy Division, Anthrax and some others. I didn't want more Metallica, and I went back to everything at least 3 times. But I think I've finally found something gthat satisfies everyone. But it has no music video. This is the trouble I go through to bring you quality.
Boston - Rock and Roll Band (Studio Version)
Charlie The Unicorn
I spent over an hour trying to decide a song, I was going to use AC/DC's "Jailbreak" but I thought, what else is there. So im, looking, and for some reason record labels are cracking down on Youtube so that limited my choices. I thought of Alice in Chains. "Man In The Box" had embedding disabled, so I thought of using "Would?" but I couldn't decide between 3 versions. I move on to the Smashing Pumpkins, early Soundgarden ("flower"), Creedence Clearwater revival, Pantera, Van Halen, the Joy Division, Anthrax and some others. I didn't want more Metallica, and I went back to everything at least 3 times. But I think I've finally found something gthat satisfies everyone. But it has no music video. This is the trouble I go through to bring you quality.
Boston - Rock and Roll Band (Studio Version)
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Music today is terrible, a genre by genre explanation
Continuing my trend of music related rants, I’m going to talk about something I’ve tried to tackle in the past, but have never gotten very far before I scrapped it. But I’m here and I’m going to run down genre by genre why approximately 94% of music is terrible.
Pop music
Pop music is the scourge of modern music, the most shallow form of music in existence. It usually has nothing interesting, instead relying completely on vocal melodies, it contains clichéd lyrics about the same topic in every song. It also has infected everything else. It doesn’t exist for the art of music but purely to make money off people who have no taste and don’t understand that a computer going beep and a fake drum machine with the word love said every other line, with obvious melodies and nothing else barely qualifies as music.
Rock Music (and its subgenres)
After the mid 90s rock music started sucking, yes, the 80s had its share of terrible music but bands such as Nickelback, and Creed, released albums, they were complete rip-offs of earlier and far better bands, using the same "riffs" (seriously, Creeds "Torn" and "My Own Prison" are almost the exact same thing) over and over. Let me tell you the formula for everything. Quiet, with approximately 3 note variety, then the heavy guitars kick in, play 3 plodding notes and create back ground noise, rinse and repeat. It just sucks, theirs no creativity or originality. Seriously, every single thing i hear is a rip off of some early 90s band that is far better than they could ever hope to be. Then theirs Nu-Metal. Nu-Metal is a joke, its stupid, uninspired lyrics written by bands trying to sound angsty for the purpose of selling their albums to moronic teenagers. Unfortunately it works. The guitar is so detuned it isn’t funny, and the riffs are so simple. Fingers go up the neck, fingers go down the neck. Half the bands just grunt like a constipated bear most of the time and barely sing. That’s it, nu-metal is terrible. I blame all this somewhat on pop music for watering everything down for the mainstream to almost nothing. Really, the way i trace this, is after Nirvana broke up, record companies had to fill the gap. What did they do? They got bands that tried to imitate them as closely as possible. Nickelback started out this way. Listen to their first album (Curb) to hear what I’m talking about. After these bands became successful the record companies realized the answer to their problems. They could just tell people what to listen to and they'd buy it. This goes for all music in general. Part of the problem is idiotic 13 year olds that buy this stuff who don’t know what their talking about. Greenday is not punk. Avril Lavigne is definitely not punk. Slipknot is not metal (not good metal anyway, nu metal) Taylor swift and Carrie Underwood are not country music, but I'll cover this in the next section. The point is, the record companies realized anything can be sold to people if you pay radio stations to play it alot and drill it into their head so they think it’s popular, no matter how bad it really is. That’s how it works now. It’s terrible. Turning out the same music over and over and over for the purpose of making money off people with no music taste. There was also the "post-Punk" revival thing. Which sucked as well. I can safely guess that this too was created by the record companies. When I hear it on the pop station then it probably is. The Killers are not "post-punk", I heard them all over the pop station. The Joy Division is "post-punk” but chances are, you've never heard of them. The sad state of rock music in the current day is unbelievable. A minimal riff with a generically catchy melody is all people want now. Moving on to metal. Yes, "glam metal" in the 80s was sort of poppish and was really over the top with lyrics and wore stupid outfits. But it wasn’t really that bad. I’m not as biased towards it as some who grew up in the early to mid 90s might be. 80s bands are really starting to get popular again. Why, I don’t know, possibly guitar hero, I consider guitar hero a mixed blessing to music, but that’s for another post. I don’t really have a problem with them. One thing about metal is all the fights on the internet about who was better, usually these center around Metallica vs megadeth vs slayer vs anthrax. It’s stupid. Their all good in their own way, people can’t seem to agree on that for some reason. But since I mentioned it, why don’t I give my own opinions on these bands. I'll start with Metallica since I’m most familiar with them. In defense of Metallica, I’m tired of 13 year olds who hate them because they "sold out". Just because they changed their sound doesn’t mean they sold out. I love the stuff they did in the 80s, they did change their sound in the 90s. Why? I figure that after ...And Justice For All, and its ridiculous amounts progressiveness, they decided to go more back to the basics, simple structure, 1 riff per song, two maximum, 5 minute songs. You cant blame them, its got to be hard to play full sets of 8 and 9 minute songs that technical. But this lead to the album known as "The Black Album". It made them mainstream. People who had never heard of this band before were now fans. But at the same time they were pulling in MTV viewers and casual music listeners, they alienated some of their older more loyal fans. Now, at this point they would have probably become mainstream anyway, but would they have become so popular and sell 15 million copies? Probably not. The songs on that album were simpler and more mainstream but they were not sellouts. A sellout is a formerly creative band becoming generic and uninteresting. Merely changing your sound does not make you a sellout. And honestly, did people really expect them to play this aggressive thrash metal their whole lives? Seriously, eventually, it'd become stale. Besides as great as that was, they've started to move back to that. If you'll notice Death Magnetic has the old Ride The Lightning template. The thing that keeps them from achieving their old sound completely, is that theirs too many funky-bluesy-bendy note Load style riffs. That and the extreme over compression that just ruins it almost. really, go to YouTube, listen to the guitar hero versions of the tracks and listen to them in high quality, amazing, you can hear things that you cant actually hear on the album its so compressed. But "The Black Album" is not that bad, its still metal. And their still good songs. But from their they went in all sorts of directions. But I’m not going to comment on the Load and Reload albums because I’ve only heard 1 song from each of those. And yes, Even though I’ve only heard 2 songs, St.Anger is terrible. Megadeth is not that good in my opinion, their fans are ridiculous. Dave Mustaine can’t sing well, and just because some of his songs are more technical than Metallica’s doesn’t mean anything. Just because it’s more technical doesn’t mean it’s automatically good. He got kicked of Metallica because he was an alcoholic druggie that would have taken the whole band down with him. Anthrax is alright, I don’t have any albums but they sound fine, and they did that thing with public enemy so theirs that. But I'm getting off-topic, nu-metal is not metal, it’s a joke, the good news is that thrash metal is getting popular again. Theirs alot of new bands coming out that you've probably never heard of unless you look for them. But anyway, on to country music
Country Music
Country Music used to be good, until pop music infected it. Carrie Underwood is fake, obviously studio altered, with clichéd lyrics and back ground music. To be honest, she’s more of a pop singer. Take away the acoustic guitar or fiddle or whatever and put in a synthesizer or something and you'd have a perfect pop song but no, you have to market this as country. Why? it sells better. That way you can pull in older people who would have never listened to something with the pop tag on it. Same for Taylor Swift. Their not country. I don’t care how many times you want to try and defend them, their just not. Just because you put an acoustic guitar in a pop song does not mean it’s a country song. Another thing about country music is that it’s so whiny now. I can’t stand the whininess of Tim McGraw or Keith Urban or anything else. Oh, my wife left me, family...nostalgia...and a bunch of drivel designed to make it sound more intelligent than pop music, when if you listen to the lyrics it contains the same themes. Half the songs are about love or something related to that. Whatever happened to sounds of Hank Williams, Merle Haggard, or David Allen Coe? Did they just disappear? Another thing, how come country stations never play older country. It’s the same top 40 songs over and over and over. Sound familiar? But if you want older country on the radio, the best advice I can give you is that if you get radio from anywhere near St. Louis, 98.5 plays older country sometimes. Sometimes in a row. They have a very powerful signal that goes down to the Arkansas border I hear. But that’s your best bet as far as I know. The sounds of older country still exist underground though. Ever hear of Hank Williams III? Probably not. You won’t hear him on the radio. Its not that he’s not popular, he’s got a large following in the underground, he plays older country, and punk rock and metal. He does alot. But there is him and other like him if you look hard enough. But seriously, why have we never heard of a "classic country" station? There’s all kinds of classic rock stations, why not classic country? I’ve never heard of it, but I should.
Rap Music
Now, I’m not someone who bashes rap music just because its rap music. Rap music has a short shelf life anyway. But rap music is terrible now. I’m not very familiar with rap music but i know it never used to be this way. There used to be rap artists who were better than some rock bands in their day. For a few albums Public Enemy was very good and surpassed even many rock bands at their peak. Plus they did that song with Anthrax. They didn’t write songs about the ghetto or life on the street or bling-bling. They wrote songs about political and social issues and they did it very well. And though I’ve never heard any of their songs, I’ve heard earlier NWA was really good even though they were gangsta rap. Which apparently ran its course 2 years after Staight Outta Compton according to Brads Completely Useless record reviews. But not all rap is bad, just the commercialized garbage that’s thrown out now.
That about covers it. Later
Pop music
Pop music is the scourge of modern music, the most shallow form of music in existence. It usually has nothing interesting, instead relying completely on vocal melodies, it contains clichéd lyrics about the same topic in every song. It also has infected everything else. It doesn’t exist for the art of music but purely to make money off people who have no taste and don’t understand that a computer going beep and a fake drum machine with the word love said every other line, with obvious melodies and nothing else barely qualifies as music.
Rock Music (and its subgenres)
After the mid 90s rock music started sucking, yes, the 80s had its share of terrible music but bands such as Nickelback, and Creed, released albums, they were complete rip-offs of earlier and far better bands, using the same "riffs" (seriously, Creeds "Torn" and "My Own Prison" are almost the exact same thing) over and over. Let me tell you the formula for everything. Quiet, with approximately 3 note variety, then the heavy guitars kick in, play 3 plodding notes and create back ground noise, rinse and repeat. It just sucks, theirs no creativity or originality. Seriously, every single thing i hear is a rip off of some early 90s band that is far better than they could ever hope to be. Then theirs Nu-Metal. Nu-Metal is a joke, its stupid, uninspired lyrics written by bands trying to sound angsty for the purpose of selling their albums to moronic teenagers. Unfortunately it works. The guitar is so detuned it isn’t funny, and the riffs are so simple. Fingers go up the neck, fingers go down the neck. Half the bands just grunt like a constipated bear most of the time and barely sing. That’s it, nu-metal is terrible. I blame all this somewhat on pop music for watering everything down for the mainstream to almost nothing. Really, the way i trace this, is after Nirvana broke up, record companies had to fill the gap. What did they do? They got bands that tried to imitate them as closely as possible. Nickelback started out this way. Listen to their first album (Curb) to hear what I’m talking about. After these bands became successful the record companies realized the answer to their problems. They could just tell people what to listen to and they'd buy it. This goes for all music in general. Part of the problem is idiotic 13 year olds that buy this stuff who don’t know what their talking about. Greenday is not punk. Avril Lavigne is definitely not punk. Slipknot is not metal (not good metal anyway, nu metal) Taylor swift and Carrie Underwood are not country music, but I'll cover this in the next section. The point is, the record companies realized anything can be sold to people if you pay radio stations to play it alot and drill it into their head so they think it’s popular, no matter how bad it really is. That’s how it works now. It’s terrible. Turning out the same music over and over and over for the purpose of making money off people with no music taste. There was also the "post-Punk" revival thing. Which sucked as well. I can safely guess that this too was created by the record companies. When I hear it on the pop station then it probably is. The Killers are not "post-punk", I heard them all over the pop station. The Joy Division is "post-punk” but chances are, you've never heard of them. The sad state of rock music in the current day is unbelievable. A minimal riff with a generically catchy melody is all people want now. Moving on to metal. Yes, "glam metal" in the 80s was sort of poppish and was really over the top with lyrics and wore stupid outfits. But it wasn’t really that bad. I’m not as biased towards it as some who grew up in the early to mid 90s might be. 80s bands are really starting to get popular again. Why, I don’t know, possibly guitar hero, I consider guitar hero a mixed blessing to music, but that’s for another post. I don’t really have a problem with them. One thing about metal is all the fights on the internet about who was better, usually these center around Metallica vs megadeth vs slayer vs anthrax. It’s stupid. Their all good in their own way, people can’t seem to agree on that for some reason. But since I mentioned it, why don’t I give my own opinions on these bands. I'll start with Metallica since I’m most familiar with them. In defense of Metallica, I’m tired of 13 year olds who hate them because they "sold out". Just because they changed their sound doesn’t mean they sold out. I love the stuff they did in the 80s, they did change their sound in the 90s. Why? I figure that after ...And Justice For All, and its ridiculous amounts progressiveness, they decided to go more back to the basics, simple structure, 1 riff per song, two maximum, 5 minute songs. You cant blame them, its got to be hard to play full sets of 8 and 9 minute songs that technical. But this lead to the album known as "The Black Album". It made them mainstream. People who had never heard of this band before were now fans. But at the same time they were pulling in MTV viewers and casual music listeners, they alienated some of their older more loyal fans. Now, at this point they would have probably become mainstream anyway, but would they have become so popular and sell 15 million copies? Probably not. The songs on that album were simpler and more mainstream but they were not sellouts. A sellout is a formerly creative band becoming generic and uninteresting. Merely changing your sound does not make you a sellout. And honestly, did people really expect them to play this aggressive thrash metal their whole lives? Seriously, eventually, it'd become stale. Besides as great as that was, they've started to move back to that. If you'll notice Death Magnetic has the old Ride The Lightning template. The thing that keeps them from achieving their old sound completely, is that theirs too many funky-bluesy-bendy note Load style riffs. That and the extreme over compression that just ruins it almost. really, go to YouTube, listen to the guitar hero versions of the tracks and listen to them in high quality, amazing, you can hear things that you cant actually hear on the album its so compressed. But "The Black Album" is not that bad, its still metal. And their still good songs. But from their they went in all sorts of directions. But I’m not going to comment on the Load and Reload albums because I’ve only heard 1 song from each of those. And yes, Even though I’ve only heard 2 songs, St.Anger is terrible. Megadeth is not that good in my opinion, their fans are ridiculous. Dave Mustaine can’t sing well, and just because some of his songs are more technical than Metallica’s doesn’t mean anything. Just because it’s more technical doesn’t mean it’s automatically good. He got kicked of Metallica because he was an alcoholic druggie that would have taken the whole band down with him. Anthrax is alright, I don’t have any albums but they sound fine, and they did that thing with public enemy so theirs that. But I'm getting off-topic, nu-metal is not metal, it’s a joke, the good news is that thrash metal is getting popular again. Theirs alot of new bands coming out that you've probably never heard of unless you look for them. But anyway, on to country music
Country Music
Country Music used to be good, until pop music infected it. Carrie Underwood is fake, obviously studio altered, with clichéd lyrics and back ground music. To be honest, she’s more of a pop singer. Take away the acoustic guitar or fiddle or whatever and put in a synthesizer or something and you'd have a perfect pop song but no, you have to market this as country. Why? it sells better. That way you can pull in older people who would have never listened to something with the pop tag on it. Same for Taylor Swift. Their not country. I don’t care how many times you want to try and defend them, their just not. Just because you put an acoustic guitar in a pop song does not mean it’s a country song. Another thing about country music is that it’s so whiny now. I can’t stand the whininess of Tim McGraw or Keith Urban or anything else. Oh, my wife left me, family...nostalgia...and a bunch of drivel designed to make it sound more intelligent than pop music, when if you listen to the lyrics it contains the same themes. Half the songs are about love or something related to that. Whatever happened to sounds of Hank Williams, Merle Haggard, or David Allen Coe? Did they just disappear? Another thing, how come country stations never play older country. It’s the same top 40 songs over and over and over. Sound familiar? But if you want older country on the radio, the best advice I can give you is that if you get radio from anywhere near St. Louis, 98.5 plays older country sometimes. Sometimes in a row. They have a very powerful signal that goes down to the Arkansas border I hear. But that’s your best bet as far as I know. The sounds of older country still exist underground though. Ever hear of Hank Williams III? Probably not. You won’t hear him on the radio. Its not that he’s not popular, he’s got a large following in the underground, he plays older country, and punk rock and metal. He does alot. But there is him and other like him if you look hard enough. But seriously, why have we never heard of a "classic country" station? There’s all kinds of classic rock stations, why not classic country? I’ve never heard of it, but I should.
Rap Music
Now, I’m not someone who bashes rap music just because its rap music. Rap music has a short shelf life anyway. But rap music is terrible now. I’m not very familiar with rap music but i know it never used to be this way. There used to be rap artists who were better than some rock bands in their day. For a few albums Public Enemy was very good and surpassed even many rock bands at their peak. Plus they did that song with Anthrax. They didn’t write songs about the ghetto or life on the street or bling-bling. They wrote songs about political and social issues and they did it very well. And though I’ve never heard any of their songs, I’ve heard earlier NWA was really good even though they were gangsta rap. Which apparently ran its course 2 years after Staight Outta Compton according to Brads Completely Useless record reviews. But not all rap is bad, just the commercialized garbage that’s thrown out now.
That about covers it. Later
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Albums you must stay away from
Since I did albums you must have, why not albums you must stay away from? I'll tell you what not to spend your money on. These albums make Guantanamo bay look like a vacation. These albums are the worst combination of sounds ever created by man. These albums should have never even been made. Never, ever, ever even think of buying these albums ever. I haven't heard these entire albums, I don't need to, i get a few songs in before i cant stand the "music" anymore. But i don't need to, what I've heard is proof enough.
St.Anger-Metallica
I've referenced this album many times before on this site. So I'll go into more detail about it. The production; terrible; the music; awful; the lyrics; a 5 year old could write more intelligent lyrics. This is a very, very poor attempt to get back to their roots. Thankfully Death Magnetic was much better and came close to succeeding, but i hardly ever listen to it any more because of its extreme over compression. Anyway, let me list off why this is so terrible. First of all, the drums sound terrible, the snare especially sounds like trash cans inside a empty metal dumpster. They tuned the guitars all the way down to C making them all guttural. It sounds like Nu-metal. Now, I kind of like the guitar sound, but seriously, play them in the right order. These aren't riffs. Fingers go up the neck, fingers go down the neck. That's it. The lyrics are so stupid, but not only that they repeat them over and over again and pound them in your head. The songs don't flow at all. The other instruments are often buried under the terrible drum sounds. It seems like if he bangs on them even louder it'll make a better song. It does the exact opposite. Also theirs no solos anywhere on this album. Why?? It sounds as if Kirk Hammett just gave up trying. Their are only two moments on this album that would even qualify as being listenable to the human ear. The intro to the title track, which sounds kinda cool until the singing starts. That intro is the only good part of the song. And "Frantic"; does it suffer from extremely stupid, unbelievably repetitive lyrics? Yes. Terrible snare sound that overpowers everything? Yes. Guitars that do almost nothing? Yes. But is it the best song on the album? Yes. Its listenable. and that says alot on this album. On another note, this is from the band that made Master of puppets? Seriously. Its unbelievable how much they declined. Thankfully, the next album was much, much, much better. If your at the store and you see this album. Don't even think of buying this. I wouldn't even take this if they gave it to me for free. Absolutely horrendous abomination.
Cut The Crap-The Clash
Ah yes, the clash, a staple of classic punk. Except this, this was their last studio album. Good thing too. Its hard to find a bigger joke then this from a formerly respectable band. The songs have random, inappropriate boing, ping, thwack and other ridiculous sounds that drown out everything else half the time. They got rid of their drummer and replaced him with an ultra fake sounding drum machine. There are a million cheesy 80s synthesisers all over the place and the guitar has a slicked over pukeish sound. The chorus's always have like 100 people singing it with no singing voices that probably got pulled off the street. This is a complete joke. Now to be fair, even though "This is England" has all those terrible things, their are less ridiculous noises and its a decent song. But other than that. This album is a bunch of vomit random 80s noises that should never be listened to by any creature in the universe. What idiots made this? Seriously? Did they honestly think this was good? An exaggerated but true example of how mainstream pop music can absolutely destroy the sounds formerly known as music.
Marti Gras-Creedence Clearwater Revival
Here's another example of a formerly great band sucking badly before breaking up. So after the rhythm guitarist left the other band members wanted to get more song writing in, except your John Fogerty and you almost single handedly are CCR, you write all the music and lyrics and you could probably play every single instrument with little to no change in musical quality. But you let your remaining band mates write and sing on some songs. Except they are absolutely terrible at writing songs and cant sing to save their life. One has the range and charisma of a monotonous drone. Another just sounds plain terrible. The songs would suck even if they wernt sung by these people. If you can find a worse hoe down song than "tearin up the country" I'd like to hear it, or maybe i wouldn't. This is one of the worst examples of a rock band going country I've ever heard. Thankfully John Fogerty does sing on some songs. They arnt quite up to the standards of their earlier material but they are honestly decent songs. Truly the last breath of CCR. For some reason these ended up on
Chronicle but "Born on the Bayou" didn't why? If you are ever going to buy a CCR album, don't buy this one ever. I recommend the greatest hits contemplation Chronicle volume 1. Their studio albums are filled with a few hits surrounded by airless blues jams that go nowhere. Until Cosmos Factory they weren't good at it. But since 7 out of 11 songs on that are in Chronicle you might as well get that. It made my "albums you must have" list, which you can read if you scroll down some. Bottom Line; Stay away from this.
Van Halen 3-Van Halen
I love Van Halen back when they had David Lee Roth (Still do i guess since he came back). Then Sammy Hagar came and ruined it. But this is worse. This has Gary Cherone. He sounds terrible. Really. I cant say it better so I'm going to quote Brad from Brads Completely Useless Record Reviews. "What does it sound like, you ask? Well, picture Sammy Hagar at 80 years old. With laryngitis. And LUNG CANCER. That’s what Gary sounds like." and he also said "...it feels like someone has taken a large piece of sandpaper, stuck it inside my ear, and started grinding it violently against my eardrums. It’s AWFUL. If one looks solely at vocals, this is the by FAR the worst album I’ve ever heard, and it has no real competition." That's nuff said. Don't buy this album. Start with the self titled Van Halen or a greatest hits contemplation. Not this.
Some bands to stay away from entirely:
Limp Bizkit
Creed
Godsmack (complete rip-off of Alice in Chains)
Linkin Park
Korn
The Naked Brothers Band
Hannah Montana
Fallout Boy
St.Anger-Metallica
I've referenced this album many times before on this site. So I'll go into more detail about it. The production; terrible; the music; awful; the lyrics; a 5 year old could write more intelligent lyrics. This is a very, very poor attempt to get back to their roots. Thankfully Death Magnetic was much better and came close to succeeding, but i hardly ever listen to it any more because of its extreme over compression. Anyway, let me list off why this is so terrible. First of all, the drums sound terrible, the snare especially sounds like trash cans inside a empty metal dumpster. They tuned the guitars all the way down to C making them all guttural. It sounds like Nu-metal. Now, I kind of like the guitar sound, but seriously, play them in the right order. These aren't riffs. Fingers go up the neck, fingers go down the neck. That's it. The lyrics are so stupid, but not only that they repeat them over and over again and pound them in your head. The songs don't flow at all. The other instruments are often buried under the terrible drum sounds. It seems like if he bangs on them even louder it'll make a better song. It does the exact opposite. Also theirs no solos anywhere on this album. Why?? It sounds as if Kirk Hammett just gave up trying. Their are only two moments on this album that would even qualify as being listenable to the human ear. The intro to the title track, which sounds kinda cool until the singing starts. That intro is the only good part of the song. And "Frantic"; does it suffer from extremely stupid, unbelievably repetitive lyrics? Yes. Terrible snare sound that overpowers everything? Yes. Guitars that do almost nothing? Yes. But is it the best song on the album? Yes. Its listenable. and that says alot on this album. On another note, this is from the band that made Master of puppets? Seriously. Its unbelievable how much they declined. Thankfully, the next album was much, much, much better. If your at the store and you see this album. Don't even think of buying this. I wouldn't even take this if they gave it to me for free. Absolutely horrendous abomination.
Cut The Crap-The Clash
Ah yes, the clash, a staple of classic punk. Except this, this was their last studio album. Good thing too. Its hard to find a bigger joke then this from a formerly respectable band. The songs have random, inappropriate boing, ping, thwack and other ridiculous sounds that drown out everything else half the time. They got rid of their drummer and replaced him with an ultra fake sounding drum machine. There are a million cheesy 80s synthesisers all over the place and the guitar has a slicked over pukeish sound. The chorus's always have like 100 people singing it with no singing voices that probably got pulled off the street. This is a complete joke. Now to be fair, even though "This is England" has all those terrible things, their are less ridiculous noises and its a decent song. But other than that. This album is a bunch of vomit random 80s noises that should never be listened to by any creature in the universe. What idiots made this? Seriously? Did they honestly think this was good? An exaggerated but true example of how mainstream pop music can absolutely destroy the sounds formerly known as music.
Marti Gras-Creedence Clearwater Revival
Here's another example of a formerly great band sucking badly before breaking up. So after the rhythm guitarist left the other band members wanted to get more song writing in, except your John Fogerty and you almost single handedly are CCR, you write all the music and lyrics and you could probably play every single instrument with little to no change in musical quality. But you let your remaining band mates write and sing on some songs. Except they are absolutely terrible at writing songs and cant sing to save their life. One has the range and charisma of a monotonous drone. Another just sounds plain terrible. The songs would suck even if they wernt sung by these people. If you can find a worse hoe down song than "tearin up the country" I'd like to hear it, or maybe i wouldn't. This is one of the worst examples of a rock band going country I've ever heard. Thankfully John Fogerty does sing on some songs. They arnt quite up to the standards of their earlier material but they are honestly decent songs. Truly the last breath of CCR. For some reason these ended up on
Chronicle but "Born on the Bayou" didn't why? If you are ever going to buy a CCR album, don't buy this one ever. I recommend the greatest hits contemplation Chronicle volume 1. Their studio albums are filled with a few hits surrounded by airless blues jams that go nowhere. Until Cosmos Factory they weren't good at it. But since 7 out of 11 songs on that are in Chronicle you might as well get that. It made my "albums you must have" list, which you can read if you scroll down some. Bottom Line; Stay away from this.
Van Halen 3-Van Halen
I love Van Halen back when they had David Lee Roth (Still do i guess since he came back). Then Sammy Hagar came and ruined it. But this is worse. This has Gary Cherone. He sounds terrible. Really. I cant say it better so I'm going to quote Brad from Brads Completely Useless Record Reviews. "What does it sound like, you ask? Well, picture Sammy Hagar at 80 years old. With laryngitis. And LUNG CANCER. That’s what Gary sounds like." and he also said "...it feels like someone has taken a large piece of sandpaper, stuck it inside my ear, and started grinding it violently against my eardrums. It’s AWFUL. If one looks solely at vocals, this is the by FAR the worst album I’ve ever heard, and it has no real competition." That's nuff said. Don't buy this album. Start with the self titled Van Halen or a greatest hits contemplation. Not this.
Some bands to stay away from entirely:
Limp Bizkit
Creed
Godsmack (complete rip-off of Alice in Chains)
Linkin Park
Korn
The Naked Brothers Band
Hannah Montana
Fallout Boy
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Other people that do rants that I like
besides doing my own rants, i also read and watch other peoples as well, many of these people inspired me to start this blog.
62365
This guy, with his strange name of a few numbers, is the guy who originally inspired me to do this blog. And i admit, i steal some of his points on things too, in fact, i liked his NASCAR one so much, i decided to use alot his talking points, cause its so true, yeah, my best rant isn't even completely mine. I admit, alot of my really early posts, were not completely my own ideas, but really, this guys hilarious, o yeah, i started using his Later thing too cause i liked it so much. It works doesn't it?
http://www.youtube.com/user/62365
Angry Video Game Nerd
I like this guy, he's very funny, he also cusses alot, but i try to keep this clean, which is why I don't post his videos. I did however, take some of his pens at the post office rant. Off his you know whats Bull$*1* series of videos. He normally reviews really old games and are hilarious. But besides for that pens at the post office, i don't take any of his ideas or reviewing style.
http://www.youtube.com/user/JamesNintendoNerd
Brad’s Completely Useless Record Reviews
Now this guy is called Brad, and hes not my cousin. He inspired me to do albums occasionally, even though he admits he ripped of 99% of Mark Prindles writing style. he also used to cuss in alot of his early reviews, but he almost never does anymore, hes matured alot. He also seems to be really slow in updating lately, but whatever, I also adopted his simple 1-10 rating system, instead of letters, grades or such. he also likes Led Zeppelin alot for some reason. Other than that he seems to have somewhat similar tastes to mine.
http://www.geocities.com/bradreviews/
Theres also some random teens who did some things on HSM that i can't pinpoint.
Those 3 are ones i like alot. Theres probably more, but i'll edit this list over time. Later.
62365
This guy, with his strange name of a few numbers, is the guy who originally inspired me to do this blog. And i admit, i steal some of his points on things too, in fact, i liked his NASCAR one so much, i decided to use alot his talking points, cause its so true, yeah, my best rant isn't even completely mine. I admit, alot of my really early posts, were not completely my own ideas, but really, this guys hilarious, o yeah, i started using his Later thing too cause i liked it so much. It works doesn't it?
http://www.youtube.com/user/62365
Angry Video Game Nerd
I like this guy, he's very funny, he also cusses alot, but i try to keep this clean, which is why I don't post his videos. I did however, take some of his pens at the post office rant. Off his you know whats Bull$*1* series of videos. He normally reviews really old games and are hilarious. But besides for that pens at the post office, i don't take any of his ideas or reviewing style.
http://www.youtube.com/user/JamesNintendoNerd
Brad’s Completely Useless Record Reviews
Now this guy is called Brad, and hes not my cousin. He inspired me to do albums occasionally, even though he admits he ripped of 99% of Mark Prindles writing style. he also used to cuss in alot of his early reviews, but he almost never does anymore, hes matured alot. He also seems to be really slow in updating lately, but whatever, I also adopted his simple 1-10 rating system, instead of letters, grades or such. he also likes Led Zeppelin alot for some reason. Other than that he seems to have somewhat similar tastes to mine.
http://www.geocities.com/bradreviews/
Theres also some random teens who did some things on HSM that i can't pinpoint.
Those 3 are ones i like alot. Theres probably more, but i'll edit this list over time. Later.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The Naked Brothers Band
Ive been promising this since the beginning, and now i will write about something even worse than Hannah Montana, worse than HSM, worse than the Jonas Brothers. Not only is their music bad, but their TV show is too. I watched 5 minutes, the camera work is terrible, their music sucks and the whole premise is ridiculous. Now hold on, yes it may be marketed to 11 year olds, but it makes them think this is good music and TV. Its not. Surprisingly, this isn't a Disney creation, no, its Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon is a mere shell of its former self. I saw that station transform before my eyes into utter crap. You can argue that I'm biased towards the shows I grew up with. I don't buy that. Older Ren and Stimpy was good. All That back when it was intelligent and before they replaced all the cast with pre teens and it became so unintelligent. And Kenan and Kel. The good burger movie is a classic in my mind. Heres something i still remember from it.
Anyway, Nickelodeon is terrible now, they even tried doing a rip off of Japanese cartoons. This however, is so unbelievably bad. These kids arnt even professional actors, their mom was in some 80s sitcom and knew the right people. The acting is bad, the music is worse, the jokes are terrible and its just crappy in general. The singer is 12, the bass player is like 15 or 16. Somethings wrong here, in the show the singer is always trying to go out with her. Why even try? shes like 3 or 4 years older than you, you re not even or barely out of elementary school and shes in high school, whats up with that? Another thing, who has a Cello in a band? Also, stop trying to pass yourself off as a rock band, your not, your a pop band that was created to make money. In Live performances its obvious they don't play their own instruments. Watch this video and you'll see what i mean, look in the background, standing off to the side, are adults playing everything, they don't even try to fake playing, at least very well. The only person who seems to be actually playing is the bass player,and if she isn't, she fakes playing bass guitar really well, notice how she actually looks at the guitar neck, and finger picks the strings in rhythm with whats actually being played. Unlike the others, who strum like idiots and don't play a note.
Now, for both yours and my own amusement, I'm going to do a fake interview with the lead singer, Nat Wolff, and pretend to give him a hard time, just for laughs.
Me: So i noticed that on the today show you said that you go to an "actual real school."
Nat: Yea, we do.
Me: Well, you must because your grammar is atrocious.
Nat: well...
Me: To be honest, to me, your music sounds like a cross between Maroon 5 and a really bad Beatles rip-off.
Nat: Well, the Beatles is my favorite band. (it really is, so he says)
Me: Well I admit you've chosen a pretty good model, if you played decently and wrote decent lyrics, I mean seriously, that song you've got, "Banana Smoothie" is messed up.
Nat: Maybe
Me: Maybe yes.
Nat: Comon, don't you think Rosalina is hot?
Me: No, I thought that was just a thing in the show, maybe you should use people real names too.
Nat: sorry, but comon, don't you?
Me: Not really, and who came up with that anyway? Shes like my age and your what 12? Why try?
Nat: Umm...
Me: Well, were out of time, I'm gonna go edit this to make you look crazy, just like on every reality TV show, by the way, very insightful(snickers).
Nat: Thanks, i guess.
Me: goodbye.
So there you have it, my opinion on the Naked Brothers band. and yea, its a stupid name.
Later
Anyway, Nickelodeon is terrible now, they even tried doing a rip off of Japanese cartoons. This however, is so unbelievably bad. These kids arnt even professional actors, their mom was in some 80s sitcom and knew the right people. The acting is bad, the music is worse, the jokes are terrible and its just crappy in general. The singer is 12, the bass player is like 15 or 16. Somethings wrong here, in the show the singer is always trying to go out with her. Why even try? shes like 3 or 4 years older than you, you re not even or barely out of elementary school and shes in high school, whats up with that? Another thing, who has a Cello in a band? Also, stop trying to pass yourself off as a rock band, your not, your a pop band that was created to make money. In Live performances its obvious they don't play their own instruments. Watch this video and you'll see what i mean, look in the background, standing off to the side, are adults playing everything, they don't even try to fake playing, at least very well. The only person who seems to be actually playing is the bass player,and if she isn't, she fakes playing bass guitar really well, notice how she actually looks at the guitar neck, and finger picks the strings in rhythm with whats actually being played. Unlike the others, who strum like idiots and don't play a note.
Now, for both yours and my own amusement, I'm going to do a fake interview with the lead singer, Nat Wolff, and pretend to give him a hard time, just for laughs.
Me: So i noticed that on the today show you said that you go to an "actual real school."
Nat: Yea, we do.
Me: Well, you must because your grammar is atrocious.
Nat: well...
Me: To be honest, to me, your music sounds like a cross between Maroon 5 and a really bad Beatles rip-off.
Nat: Well, the Beatles is my favorite band. (it really is, so he says)
Me: Well I admit you've chosen a pretty good model, if you played decently and wrote decent lyrics, I mean seriously, that song you've got, "Banana Smoothie" is messed up.
Nat: Maybe
Me: Maybe yes.
Nat: Comon, don't you think Rosalina is hot?
Me: No, I thought that was just a thing in the show, maybe you should use people real names too.
Nat: sorry, but comon, don't you?
Me: Not really, and who came up with that anyway? Shes like my age and your what 12? Why try?
Nat: Umm...
Me: Well, were out of time, I'm gonna go edit this to make you look crazy, just like on every reality TV show, by the way, very insightful(snickers).
Nat: Thanks, i guess.
Me: goodbye.
So there you have it, my opinion on the Naked Brothers band. and yea, its a stupid name.
Later
Saturday, September 13, 2008
I cant stand 'all summer long'
You know that new Kid Rock single that people with no real musical tastes are raving about? Of course you do, they play it every 10 minutes on 3 different stations, but in case you've been somewhere on mars for the past 3 or so months its called all summer long. Now, I'm not familiar with Kid Rocks music, but i do know that i don't like that song. Why? Its tailor made for top 40 monkeys who need to be told what to listen to. Let me explain. First of all, the chord progression is a blatant rip-off of Sweet Home Alabama and Werewolves of London. Its so polished and generic. Its not that great, nothing happens, verse, chorus, verse, chorus. wow. All with obvious melodies. Im not going to write a lengthy critisism of this song, so just watch this video, he has some points. and no, i didnt put that link to the website, thats embedded.
Hate By Numbers: Kid Rock's All Summer Long
Hate By Numbers: Kid Rock's All Summer Long
See more funny videos at Funny or Die
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